What I Won’t Say to the Lord in My Prayer for Healing of Pastor Eddie
Pastor Eddie Kim, recently diagnosed with advanced cancer, is a beloved figure in the AMI community; no doubt, many AMI-affiliated people, including me, are praying for his healing. Nevertheless, as I "remind" the Lord all the reasons why He should heal Eddie, I will not say, “Lord, don’t take Pastor Eddie now because he has so much left to do to advance Your kingdom.” No, not after seeing Dr. Johann Kim, another beloved AMI pastor, literally die before my eyes in Athens, Greece in April of 2019.
Having retired early from his day job—teaching physics as a tenured professor at the University of Cincinnati for 30 years—Dr. Johann had gone to Athens to explore the possibility of serving the refugees pouring in from Iran and Afghanistan. Having turned 64 and in relatively good health, Johann was looking forward to starting house churches for the refugees. Then, suddenly, he died from a stroke less than a month after arriving in Greece. But Dr. Johann had so much left to do; why did God take him?
Even more puzzling is the inexplicable death—from a spiritual perspective—of Nabeel Qureshi, a devout Muslim born in America who details in his book, “Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus” (2014), how he, after encountering the truth of the Christian faith, renounced Islam to embrace Christ as his Lord and savior. As smart as Dr. Johann, Nabeel held a MD and three master’s degrees, including two from Duke and Oxford, which he pursued to prepare for Christian ministry (in apologetics). Quickly becoming the worst nightmare for the defenders of Islam, it was, therefore, absolutely absurd that Nabeel died of cancer at the tender age of 34 in 2017. Why Lord? Nabeel was just getting started.
But the inexplicableness of these men’s death pales in comparison to the death of James, one of the top three disciples of Jesus that included John his brother and Peter. Jesus spent extra hours with these three men, separate from the rest, giving them additional teachings and training (Mk. 8:51, 9:2). For causal readers, James who appears in Galatians 2:9, which reads, “James, Peter and John, those reputed to be pillars,” is the same James mentioned next to Peter and John in the Gospels. That, however, is not true because James the brother of John suffered the violent death of martyrdom at the hands of Herod in Acts 12:2; he probably was around Nabeel’s age.
So, what major contributions did James make toward the advancements of the kingdom before his untimely death? We know what Peter and John did, like producing books that became part of the New Testament canon, but what about James? Not much, or at least we don’t know because the only time the Bible talks about him outside of the Gospels is when he was martyred.
Then, who is this other James appearing in Galatians 2:9? That’s a half-brother of Jesus—not even a believer while Jesus was on earth (Jn. 7:5)—who seemingly took the place of James the brother of John as one of the three leaders of the church in Jerusalem. Such an irony! James the disciple may have wondered, as he was facing death, “What was all that for, the extra teachings and training I got from the Lord?”
Of course, there is no good answer this side of heaven to the question of why the death of these men looks so untimely. But one thing is certain: No matter how absurd the deaths of some saints look to us, God took them because they had completed the purpose for which they were created. In speaking of King David’s death, Acts 13:36 says, “For David, after he had served the purpose of God in his own generation, fell asleep and was laid with his fathers . . .” It’s just that we rarely recognize when God is done with us.
In view of that, if you ask me whether I think God is done with Pastor Eddie, I will say, “No, because the church he planted just before the pandemic began seems ready to explode with growth. There is still much left for Pastor Eddie to complete.” Therefore, I pray, “Lord, IF You are not done with Eddie, that is, IF Eddie still hasn’t finished serving the purpose of God for which he was created to do, then, I thank You in advance for healing him.” But if God is done with using us, then, we go. After all, who wants to stick around this world getting madder by the second when we can "be with Christ, which is better by far" (Phil. 1:23).
Ultimately, we pray as Jesus did the night before his death by crucifixion: “Not as I will, but . . . may your will be done” (Matt. 26:39, 42). And, as far as I am concerned, no one knows more about that tension than my sister who, in 2005, was fiercely battling God over her cancer-stricken husband. I will leave you with her words: “I begged God to cure my husband of this horrible disease and bring him home . . . Then God spoke to me that night telling me that all this time, I’ve been praying for my husband to get well according to my will. God told me to change my will to God’s will. Whatever happens, trust God. This was a pivotal moment for me because I accepted God’s will, regardless of whether his will was to cure my husband or to take him to heaven; it was God’s will and his will is perfect, righteous, and good. When I took God’s will over mine at that moment, he lifted up my unbearable heavy load and gave me a lighter load to carry. So the anger I thought I would have if God took my husband from me was no longer there because God filled my heart with this incredible peace that passes beyond any understanding . . .”
With that in mind, let’s keep on praying for Pastor Eddie.
Having retired early from his day job—teaching physics as a tenured professor at the University of Cincinnati for 30 years—Dr. Johann had gone to Athens to explore the possibility of serving the refugees pouring in from Iran and Afghanistan. Having turned 64 and in relatively good health, Johann was looking forward to starting house churches for the refugees. Then, suddenly, he died from a stroke less than a month after arriving in Greece. But Dr. Johann had so much left to do; why did God take him?
Even more puzzling is the inexplicable death—from a spiritual perspective—of Nabeel Qureshi, a devout Muslim born in America who details in his book, “Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus” (2014), how he, after encountering the truth of the Christian faith, renounced Islam to embrace Christ as his Lord and savior. As smart as Dr. Johann, Nabeel held a MD and three master’s degrees, including two from Duke and Oxford, which he pursued to prepare for Christian ministry (in apologetics). Quickly becoming the worst nightmare for the defenders of Islam, it was, therefore, absolutely absurd that Nabeel died of cancer at the tender age of 34 in 2017. Why Lord? Nabeel was just getting started.
But the inexplicableness of these men’s death pales in comparison to the death of James, one of the top three disciples of Jesus that included John his brother and Peter. Jesus spent extra hours with these three men, separate from the rest, giving them additional teachings and training (Mk. 8:51, 9:2). For causal readers, James who appears in Galatians 2:9, which reads, “James, Peter and John, those reputed to be pillars,” is the same James mentioned next to Peter and John in the Gospels. That, however, is not true because James the brother of John suffered the violent death of martyrdom at the hands of Herod in Acts 12:2; he probably was around Nabeel’s age.
So, what major contributions did James make toward the advancements of the kingdom before his untimely death? We know what Peter and John did, like producing books that became part of the New Testament canon, but what about James? Not much, or at least we don’t know because the only time the Bible talks about him outside of the Gospels is when he was martyred.
Then, who is this other James appearing in Galatians 2:9? That’s a half-brother of Jesus—not even a believer while Jesus was on earth (Jn. 7:5)—who seemingly took the place of James the brother of John as one of the three leaders of the church in Jerusalem. Such an irony! James the disciple may have wondered, as he was facing death, “What was all that for, the extra teachings and training I got from the Lord?”
Of course, there is no good answer this side of heaven to the question of why the death of these men looks so untimely. But one thing is certain: No matter how absurd the deaths of some saints look to us, God took them because they had completed the purpose for which they were created. In speaking of King David’s death, Acts 13:36 says, “For David, after he had served the purpose of God in his own generation, fell asleep and was laid with his fathers . . .” It’s just that we rarely recognize when God is done with us.
In view of that, if you ask me whether I think God is done with Pastor Eddie, I will say, “No, because the church he planted just before the pandemic began seems ready to explode with growth. There is still much left for Pastor Eddie to complete.” Therefore, I pray, “Lord, IF You are not done with Eddie, that is, IF Eddie still hasn’t finished serving the purpose of God for which he was created to do, then, I thank You in advance for healing him.” But if God is done with using us, then, we go. After all, who wants to stick around this world getting madder by the second when we can "be with Christ, which is better by far" (Phil. 1:23).
Ultimately, we pray as Jesus did the night before his death by crucifixion: “Not as I will, but . . . may your will be done” (Matt. 26:39, 42). And, as far as I am concerned, no one knows more about that tension than my sister who, in 2005, was fiercely battling God over her cancer-stricken husband. I will leave you with her words: “I begged God to cure my husband of this horrible disease and bring him home . . . Then God spoke to me that night telling me that all this time, I’ve been praying for my husband to get well according to my will. God told me to change my will to God’s will. Whatever happens, trust God. This was a pivotal moment for me because I accepted God’s will, regardless of whether his will was to cure my husband or to take him to heaven; it was God’s will and his will is perfect, righteous, and good. When I took God’s will over mine at that moment, he lifted up my unbearable heavy load and gave me a lighter load to carry. So the anger I thought I would have if God took my husband from me was no longer there because God filled my heart with this incredible peace that passes beyond any understanding . . .”
With that in mind, let’s keep on praying for Pastor Eddie.
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